Existential Kink: Unmask Your Shadow and Embrace Your Power (A method for getting what you want by getting off on what you don't)

by Carolyn Elliott

You can experiment with more EK statements like: “This unconscious enjoyment matters just as much as any other enjoyment in my life.” “My enjoyment of this fucked-up stuff is just as worthwhile and important as my enjoyment of sunshine and roses.” “I honor this desire. I respect it. I'm allowed to enjoy this as exactly much as I do.” “I embrace and receive these sensations.” “I'm willing to feel the depth of my love for this.” “I open up to feeling wild, insane gratitude and excitement about these sensations and this situation.” This is the “kink” part of Existential Kink. In BDSM kink, people get off on things that they normally don't like. Pain, flogging, being bossed around. Well, in life in general, we have the same opportunity to interact playfully with pain. All we need to do is shift the context in our imagination from one of “awful thing happening to me against my will” to “kinky fun thing happening that I fully consent to.” Get off on this thing, this situation, this feeling that your ego thinks that you hate. Feel the freedom of that, the liberation of it. Allow yourself to be touched by the magnetism and electric spark of the “awful” thing that's present.