Existential Kink: Unmask Your Shadow and Embrace Your Power (A method for getting what you want by getting off on what you don't)

by Carolyn Elliott

For example, the poverty that I experienced for years wasn't my single-handed creation. It had to do with systemic, collective issues of sexism and corporatism, no doubt. But the thing is, me wailing about sexism and corporatism (which I loved to do, I loved to go to protests like Occupy and to righteously post on Facebook about all the injustices affecting me) never did a damn thing to alter the bare fact of my lack of funds, or my suffering. Nor did it really alter the situation for anyone else, as far as I could tell. The only thing that changed my life was me becoming willing to look at my existential kink: my previously unconscious desire for what I experienced—to look at it, own it, embrace it, and accept the jouissance. And this let me become much more creative, happy, and healthy, and to help others to do the same.