Beyond the Gender Binary

by Alok Vaid-Menon

Gender is a story, not just a word. There are as many ways to be a woman as there are women. There are as many ways to be a man as there are men. There are as many ways to be nonbinary as there are nonbinary people. This complexity is not chaos, it just is. We do not need to be universal to be valid. We should be able to decide what the clothes and the colors we adorn, the bodies we inhabit, and the people we love mean to us. There should be no boys’ clothes or girls’ clothes, just clothes. Separating gender from norms creates infinite possibilities for us all—we get to narrate what our bodies, experiences, and interests mean. Without the gender binary, there will be no more restrictive definitions of woman and man, and masculinity and femininity. Instead, there will just be your definition—one of many. Objects, emotions, and careers will not be “masculine” or “feminine,” but they will be “adventurous” or “compassionate.” We will develop more precise language to describe ourselves and the beauty around us, more just practices to respect ourselves and one another.