Beyond the Gender Binary

by Alok Vaid-Menon

As we face heightened prejudice and harassment on the ground, more policies and public statements deriding us continue to be made. This disconnect is not a coincidence; it is a calculation. This is how it has always worked: The best way to eliminate a group is to demonize them, such that their disappearance is seen as an act of justice, not discrimination.

The days that I feel most beautiful are the days that I am most afraid.

Opening line

They tell us to “be ourselves,” but if you listen closely, there’s more to that sentence: “. . . until you make them uncomfortable.”

I have learned that the most lethal part of the human body is not the fist; it is the eye. What people see and how people see it has everything to do with power.

I do not have the luxury of being. I am only seen as doing. As if my gender is something that is being done to them and not something that belongs to me.

I learned about gender through shame. In so many ways, they became inseparable for me.

There’s magic in being seen by people who understand—it gives you permission to keep going. Self-expression sometimes requires other people. Becoming ourselves is a collective journey.

So often we mistake likability with acceptance.