“You know there’s a homicidal hobo with hook hands jerking it to our conversation over there in the bushes.” “I don’t think I’d touch my junk if I had hook hands,” he said. “How would you jerk off if you only had hook hands?” I wondered aloud. “Easy. I’d get a plain bagel, cover it with lube, then fuck it. I’d latch it into my hook hands and just go to fucking town on it.” “We’re breaking up,” I told him quite seriously. “Then you can go fuck all the bagels you want, you weirdo. Keep your grossness away from me.” He laughed. “Nah. You’re stuck with me, pretty much for forever.”
