“You know there’s a homicidal hobo with hook hands jerking it to our conversation over there in the bushes.” “I don’t think I’d touch my junk if I had hook hands,” he said. “How would you jerk off if you only had hook hands?” I wondered aloud. “Easy. I’d get a plain bagel, cover it with lube, then fuck it. I’d latch it into my hook hands and just go to fucking town on it.”
