Tell Me It's Real (At First Sight #1)

by T.J. Klune

“You know,” he said, turning serious, “there’s a saying that once you save someone’s life, that you’re responsible for it. It’s an old… African chant.” I gaped at him. “African?” He nodded. “From Africa.” “That’s a Chinese proverb. Not an African chant.” “What’s Chinese?” he asked, further confused. “What you said about saving someone’s life. That’s Chinese.” He shrugged. “I don’t speak Asian. I want to go there, though. One day.” “To Asia?” He nodded. “Where in Asia?” “The Asian places,” he explained, dead serious. “I’ve always wondered if the fortune cookies taste different there.”

“Nocturnal emissions are wet dreams!” I shouted at him and then ran around him and back up the stairs. I tripped, but that’s cool. I meant to do it because it added more drama to my exit.

Physics teaches us that when a moving force meets an immovable object, bad shit happens to hot people. I think Sir Isaac Newton said that. Or Sir Elton John. I don’t know. I get my “Sirs” confused sometimes.

Friendship should never be about asking your friend to hold your balls out of the way so you can shave your taint.

“Judging from your wardrobe, you wouldn’t know fashion if it fucked your mouth and came on your face,”

Vince rocked his head back and laughed. “I’ll make sure your food is pube free.” My eyes burned a bit. No one had ever said that to me about pubes before.

I knew right then what it must have felt like to be Helen Keller. Well, except for the deaf part. Whatever. We were both American heroes for what we had to put up with.

Maybe it was the very real fact that regardless of how he felt about me, regardless of what he thought he saw in me, we’d only known each other for days. Not years. Not weeks. Not even two weeks. Days. Maybe my parents had met almost the same way. Maybe they’d known that they loved each other right away, and maybe it had worked for them, but it was still fantastical. It was still a fairy tale. Things like that didn’t happen. There was no such thing as love at first sight.

Who cared if his dreams were weird? They were starting to become mine too.