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If a painful memory arises, don’t fight it or try to push it away—you’re in quicksand. Struggle reinforces pain. Instead, go to love. Love for yourself. Feel it. If you have to fake it, fine. It’ll become real eventually. Feel the love for yourself as the memory ebbs and flows. That will take the power away.
When we love ourselves, we naturally shine, we are naturally beautiful. And that draws others to us. Before we know it, they’re loving us and it’s up to us to choose who to share our love with.
Beautiful irony. Fall in love with yourself. Let your love express itself and the world will beat a path to your door to fall in love with you.
After all, it’s the things we hold against ourselves that weigh us down more than anything.
Simply put, let the light in you remove the darkness. And most importantly, if the old grooves return, reach out for help. To anyone and everyone. One who loves themselves throws aside their ego and asks for help. Because they are worth it.
What we believe, that’s what we seek, it’s the filter we view our lives through. I’ve actively thrown myself at intense and difficult situations. All situations where I grew, but at what price?
Rather than reacting to situations, I found myself choosing how I wanted to be. That, in turn, created better situations, and ultimately a far better life.
The thoughts come. Drifting, twisting, turning in shapes. It is their nature. I pick one for the moment, and then let it go, never attached. Simply experiencing what I choose. All through the filter of love. That’s it.
After I wrote the vow and was trying out anything that might work, I noticed that while repeating, “I love myself,” there were brief moments where I made myself actually believe it.
Once you’re slightly used to the mental loop—and it only takes a day or two—add feeling. It will take you to the next level.
WHEN YOU WAKE UP Take a long and deep breath and say in your mind or aloud, “I love myself.” Imagine light flowing in from above into your head and spreading to your body, going wherever it needs to go. Feel the feeling of loving yourself. Then, exhale.
This is an incredibly effective time. You’re layering love for yourself into your subconsciousness as you drift into sleep. It’s also a beautiful way to end the day.
For example, if it’s health, whenever you’re about to eat, ask yourself, “If I loved myself truly and deeply, what would I do?” The answer will shift you away from old patterns to choice, then action. Once it starts to feel natural, use it for other areas of your life.
Questions, more than anything, will steer you away from what doesn’t serve you, both in your mind and in your life.
With the out-breath, say, “thank you.” With feeling. After all, if you’re loving yourself and experiencing magic, gratitude is a natural response. Who or what the gratitude is for is up to you. What matters is the feeling of gratitude itself.
In fact, if you’re ever going through a rough patch, dial up your rituals. Meditate more than once. Do the mirror every chance you can get. Make your day a constant practice of the ten breaths. This will help pull you out.
Our minds are experts at crafting stories on why slipping is justified. These are old mental loops fighting for survival. That’s why being accountable outside ourselves works.
pick something in the practice that you will not skip, no matter what. This is your line in the sand. It is the bare minimum you will do to keep your vow.
I close my eyes, feel light envelop me from above, and with each in-breath, I say, “I love myself” a few times. Then, I shift to Bigger Than Me loving me. You can call it Life or God or the Universe or whatever sits right with you.
The more I loved myself, the more life worked out for me in ways I couldn’t have planned. I had to use the word magic to describe this. There was no better word.
A decree. So old-fashioned. Hear ye, hear ye … I hereby decree that I will be the greatest me. Just the thought makes me stand straighter.
Later, I realize what happens when you don’t care about anything. You become fearless of sorts. Not so bad.
“Your child needs to know that it can trust you. That you got it. That is what you must do. Each moment it hurts bad, each time you create dramatic thoughts about the future, go to your heart. Place your hand there and tell it, ‘I got you.’ That’s all it needs.”
“Transformation, it takes work.”
Saving my heart, it’s my responsibility.”
I decide that I will create a file, put in every sincere compliment I receive, and then repeat it to myself as truth. It is a gift that others have given me. If they see me as this, what right do I have to not see it in myself?
I’ve lived enough to know that life gets uncomfortable when you try to force it through the pinhole of your desires. I must remove myself from this. Whether it’s because I have no choice or simply because I must save myself.
The first: life happens to me. This is the place we normally live from, especially as a victim.
The second: life happens for me. This upends everything. You look for the good that life is giving you, including the lessons.
The third: life happens through me. Where you flow with life and don’t even have to look for the good b...
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“Push harder, rest longer, three minutes between sets. The body needs to reset to push hard again. That is power.”
I’m realizing that this is hard on her as well. No need to create stories about her that serve neither of us. I will not cheapen the love we had. I’ll just be me. And in the meantime, if she is incapable of loving or saving me, I will save myself. I will love myself.
The answer is clear. Distractions feed emptiness and my heart needs to heal. I pass.
Even at night or when meditating, I feel the light. I imagine stars and galaxies flowing down to me and through me. Light is always available. It’s becoming a core part of loving myself.
Whenever anger or pain comes, I will let it wash over me, and once it’s passed, I’ll still be there, standing. Being me. Then, I will shift to the light.
Loving myself is power. But it’s not a onetime thing. Just like workouts, it must be done consistently, perhaps for as long as I live. But so what? If this is the solution, it’s a damn good one. I am worth the magic that will result.
“Go live great,” God says.
It’s through loving yourself that you rise. It’s through forgiving yourself that you overcome the plateaus. You grow and improve, inching closer to the light. To the greatest you.
I don’t need to be slapped awake again and again. I just have to stare death in his sockets and step forward with purpose, knowing that the next one isn’t guaranteed.
The wisdom and maps of others are available to us. Living them, that’s our choice.
This morning, while reading my vow aloud, I realize that a vow is a vision as well. There is no compromise in a vow, you’re all in. And if you fall, it gives you something to get up for. You stand and dust yourself off, then return to it. Your vow leads you to greatness.
Life is giving me love, always. And I accept it.
Fear is an answer to what could go wrong. Pain is an answer to what’s missing. You’ll quickly realize that the mind naturally goes for the negative, not the light. So you must consciously ask yourself empowering questions. Ones that result in you making loving choices for yourself. Do this for a while, and you’ll need to ask them less. Living the answers will have become habit.
