Lullabies for Suffering: Tales of Addiction Horror

by Mark Matthews

patterns of the wallpaper from my childhood home. “It’s frustrating, worse than the notion of death.” “What is?” “The idea of never being good at life.”

Even under oath, I’ll never admit to being an addict or an alcoholic, no more than I’d swear to have either habit under control. No denial for this girl, no, siree. Just evasion. I prefer to think myself caught somewhere in the middle, a woman without a country but with periodic access to GPS if I ever want it.

What you need and what you want are two different things and having your needs met isn’t as good as getting what you want, but getting what you want can ruin you.

Eventually, I crawled into my bed. Darkness overcame me in waves. Sometimes it resembled sleep and sometimes it was just fear. Then I fell asleep and the fear got worse.