The Code of the Extraordinary Mind: 10 Unconventional Laws to Redefine Your Life and Succeed On Your Own Terms

by Vishen Lakhiani

Every evening after work, I try to spend some time with my son, Hayden. We call this Dad and Hayden time. After playing with Legos or reading books, I tuck Hayden into bed. As I do so, I ask him two simple questions that I hope will end his day with positivity. First, I ask him to think of one thing he was grateful for that day.

Second, I ask, “Hayden, what did you love about yourself today?”

Exercise: The Gratitude Exercise Take a few minutes and think of three to five things you’re grateful for today:

Exercise: The “What I Love about Myself” Exercise Think about a quality or an action of yours that made you proud today. Maybe nobody else told you that they appreciated it, but it’s time that you affirmed it for yourself. Think about what it is about you as a human being that you can love.

Marisa Peer suggests that all of us have a child within who never received all the love and appreciation we deserved. We can’t go back and fix the past. But we can take responsibility to heal ourselves now by giving ourselves the love and appreciation we once craved. You can help heal your own inner child.

For now, though, here are two instant techniques you can apply to remove negative models of reality that you might develop on a day-to-day basis. Both are based on the idea of activating your rational mind before you unconsciously

adopt a model.

Question 1: Is my model of reality absolute or...

At Mindvalley we bypass the do-do trap through a technique called Learn Day. On the first Friday of every month, nobody works (unless it’s something crucial). Instead, everyone focuses on learning about how to work better.

Things slip when we don’t have a detection method for knowing when it’s happening. Set points are that detection method.

A set point is simply a bare-minimum threshold you establish for yourself that you promise you will not go below.

came to me, but when it did, it was profound. And it went like this: Stop postponing your happiness. Be happy now. Your thoughts and beliefs do create your reality, but only when your present state is joyful.

There’s no point dwelling in the past and letting it define you, nor in getting lost in anxiety about the future. In the present moment, you’re in the field of possibility.

1. Be happy in the now. A key ingredient of this state is that your happiness is not tied to attaining your vision. It comes from the pursuit of your vision, combined with a sense of gratitude for what you already have.

I was early taught to work as well as play, My life has been one long, happy holiday; Full of work and full of play— I dropped the worry on the way— And God was good to me every day. That titan was John D. Rockefeller,

We shouldn’t do things so we can be happy. We should be happy so we can do things.

Your happiness will accelerate your movement toward your goals, but it should not be tied to them. The best thing you can do to meet your goals is to find a life balance that allows you to be happy now.

We tend to overestimate what we can do in one year and underestimate what we can do in three years.

Law 6: Bend reality. Extraordinary minds are able to bend reality. They have bold and exciting visions for the future, yet their happiness is not tied to these visions. They are happy in the now. This balance allows them to move toward their visions at a much faster rate while having a ton of fun along the way. To outsiders, they seem “lucky.”

particular level of happiness that we tend to return to after things happen, good or bad. Researchers call this phenomenon hedonic adaptation.

But research has found that our happiness is hackable. You’ve already learned how to raise your set points for the Twelve Areas of Balance in your life. Happiness is no different. It’s all part of optimizing your systems for living.

Blissipline System 1: The Power of Gratitude

Appreciating the Reverse Gap So, how can you make the experience of gratitude a daily occurrence in your life? Switch your “gap.”

Instead, Dan suggests we look backward—to the past—and appreciate how far we’ve come.

Each day, take a few minutes to focus on the reverse gap—what has happened in your life that you’re grateful for? Think about: Three to five things you’re grateful for in your personal life Three to five things you’re grateful for in your work life

Blissipline System 2: Forgiveness

This is what is meant by the phrase, “Forgive into love.” So, for anyone who’s looking to master Blissipline, forgiveness is key.

Exercise: Liberate Yourself and Truly Forgive

UNFUCKWITHABLE: When you’re truly at peace and in touch with yourself. Nothing anyone says or does bothers you and no negativity can touch you.

Exercise: Ways of Giving

I love this advice from author Joe Vitale: “A good goal should scare you a little and excite you a lot.”

Now, how do you know if you’re on the right path? Here’s how you can check whether your goals are means goals or end goals.

End goals have happiness baked into the pursuit.

THE THREE MOST IMPORTANT QUESTIONS How do we avoid the means goals trap? I developed this improved goal-setting technique to get you there. I call it the Three Most Important Questions. When these questions are asked in the correct order, this exercise can help you jump straight to the end goals that really matter in your life.

I’ve found that all end goals fall into three different buckets. The first is experiences.

The second is growth.

The third is contribution.

THE THREE MOST IMPORTANT QUESTIONS 1.What experiences do you want to have in this lifetime? 2.How do you want to grow? 3.How do you want to contribute?

Exercise: Ask Yourself the Three Most Important Questions

There is a great myth in spirituality today: that in order to be spiritual, we must resign ourselves from the world. In other words, to be spiritual, one must avoid big goals, ambitions, and wealth.

A good end goal is something you have absolute control over. No object or person can take it away from you.

Below are the three expanded end goals that I currently live by. Can you see what they all have in common? 1.I will always be surrounded by love. 2.I will always have the most amazing and beautiful human experiences. 3.I will always be learning and growing.

Happiness is completely within your control, and when you have nothing to lose, you’re free to think and dream boldly.

While you can’t control what others do, you can control how you react to others. In order to be truly unfuckwithable, you need to lose your need to seek validation or love from others and to judge them when you perceive that they are not giving you what you need.

The most extraordinary people in the world do not have careers. What they have is a calling.

How do we define a calling? It’s pretty simple: A calling is your contribution to the human race.

I once asked Arianna Huffington the same questions I asked Elon Musk: “What makes you Arianna? If we could distill you and try to extract your essence, what is it that makes you you?” Arianna replied: I would say trust. I have an incredible trust in life. One of my favorite quotes is a little misquote: “Live life as though everything is rigged in your favor.” I really profoundly believe that whatever has happened in my life, including the biggest heartbreaks, the biggest disappointments, was exactly what was needed to help me get

to the next stage of my own personal evolution and growth. I always had a sense of that, but now I believe that so profoundly. I can literally see the hidden blessing in every bad thing that happened.

Without a mission, work is a four-letter word. With a mission, work dissolves.

Law 10: Embrace your quest. Extraordinary minds are motivated by a quest or calling—a drive to create some positive change in the world. This drive propels them forward in life and helps them to gain meaning and make a meaningful contribution.