Ducks, Newburyport

by Lucy Ellmann

the fact that then I was on my own, visiting a Japanese couple with a lovely Japanese-style garden, the fact that they had pools of koi carp inside and outside, and a dark wooden house made of thick planks of wood, the fact that it felt like I’d dreamt about them before, like when they’d just moved in maybe, and they’d had a sick cat, because now I was telling the wife how beautiful their house was and how much better things seemed than last time, the fact that I pointed out their big fat rabbit and their koi carp and their healthy cats, and she laughed, which surprised her husband, because his wife was usually gloomy and her favorite subject of conversation was how they should kill themselves someday, the fact that he was pleased to see her smile and mocked her for it, gently, the fact that I was just about to tell him it isn’t always easy to adjust when life improves,

What do I do with this dream?!