All of this lands us in what might look like a paradox: On the one hand, all societies rely upon these negative emotions—and our elaborate, learned, often subtle behaviors to avoid them—on the other hand, they limit the freedom of each and every person and the expressions of our relationships in all aspects of life. Yet everyday life doesn’t work without sanctions. Sometimes we do need to condemn people for their actions. The question, then, is not how to get rid of these negative emotions altogether, but how to develop them. The answer to the dilemma is, again, a developmental-sociological
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