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Kindle Notes & Highlights
The term “rainforest mind” covers more than just thinking, cognition, or brain. It includes heart, soul, body, and spirit.
it works for you.
You likely perceive things that others do not, and have insights that are obvious to you but not apparent to those around you.
Because their intensity tends to overwhelm others, they are told to calm down or quiet down or, as one of my clients put it, to “shallow up.”
Along with their “higher levels of empathy, sensitivity, moral responsibility, self-reflection, and autonomy” often resides “intense inner conflict, feelings of inferiority toward their own ideals, feelings of inadequacy, shame and guilt, and existential anxiety and despair.”
But, according to Dabrowski, the rumination is all in the service of growth, increased moral complexity, and higher functioning.
paranormal.
her cheerfulness was a coping strategy, but it was also a reflection of her idealism and resilience, typical RFM characteristics.
seems that RFMs can deeply appreciate the beauty of an ancient redwood or the wonder of the ocean even while experiencing the fear of abandonment and intense self-hatred.
The RFM does not settle for shallow or simplistic answers.
Protect yourself when you feel assaulted by noise, smells, emotions, thoughts, chemicals, bad architecture, etc. Leave places early,
Keep a journal where you can write, draw, collage, and/or paint. It is important to have expressive outlets that allow you to be as “much” as you are.
Find activities that allow you to be intense. Try debate, chess, running marathons, or contra dancing.
Perceptivity is often associated with issues of unfairness, a topic that tends to bring on outrage in many gifted individuals. Intense reactions to inequity and cruelty are normal. . . . Oftentimes the client reveals a feeling of being tugged toward an unclear legacy or to advocate for change, as though it were a call to duty.20
Existential depression can result when you feel powerless and overwhelmed by sociopolitical issues and events and when you do not know how you can contribute adequately.
Have not won a Nobel prize
Interestingly, existential depression can be coupled with idealism.
Even as they are aware of the great suffering on the planet, many RFMs continue to hold a sense of hope, gratitude, and appreciation for the beauty and preciousness of life.
RFMs often have an unusual sense that human potential is much greater than we imagine.
The RFMs I have known have pretty consistently felt responsible for creating a better world.
This premature burden of parental support can set the child up later to feel overly responsible for others.
She recognized herself as a weaver, taking many strands from many disciplines and creating an extraordinary tapestry.
Read Bill Plotkin’s book, Wild Mind, and attend one of his wilderness treks. Find him at animas.org.
In other words, you thrive on activities that make you think outside the box. Or you get better grades in the harder classes because you are more engaged.
What is odd is that you may feel both the pressure to achieve and the need to hide your achievements and abilities. No wonder it is hard to understand and explain your experience.
Another type of perfectionism, which I call “intrinsic,” is also known as healthy, positive, or adaptive perfectionism.43 Intrinsic perfectionists: Strive for beauty, balance, harmony, justice, and precision in all things. Are often idealistic and have exceedingly high expectations and standards for themselves and others. Were thought of as lazy or obstinate in school but were actually struggling with their desire for depth, comprehensiveness, and accuracy. Could get an A on a school assignment, though if it was not up to their standards, they were not satisfied.
You have a vision of what is possible and you ache to achieve it.
You have to meet an “inner agenda.”45 This can look dysfunctional to others, but it is not.
observations. Intrinsic perfectionism can be hard to understand
But you are likely to always need to aim for beauty, balance, harmony, justice, and precision, because that is what feeds your soul and makes your heart soar.
“What looks like a neurotic obsessive-compulsive trait may instead be the manifestation of the Herculean work and perseverance inherent in the process of self-actualization.”
This discontent exists because of your high standards and also because of your need for novelty and stimulation.
She described anger and frustration at not being seen, having to hold herself back, and getting inadequate intellectual stimulation.
I get defensive and don’t trust myself . . . I need emotional support but I hate being vulnerable. It’s a sign of weakness.”
She was deeply concerned about politics and issues of justice and equality. She was both fierce in her beliefs and, at the same time, soft-hearted and easily
RFMs commonly find themselves doing their own research to answer their questions. Practitioners, including myself, are often not as bright as the RFM, which can lead to frustration with supposed experts who may not know as much as the client.
Keep your high standards and high ideals. Yes, keep them and love them. Just try not to expect others to have them.
Strive for wholeness and balance instead of perfection.
Work on developing a “growth mindset” instead of a “fixed mindset.” These are concepts presented by Carol Dweck in her book, Mindset.
A great resource on perfectionism and procrastination is Procrastination, by Burka and Yuen.
Feeling like a jack-of-all-trades and a master of none
Frequently changing jobs and/or careers
Renaissance Souls love nothing better than to take on a new problem or situation and then dig into it . . . until we master the challenge we’ve set for ourselves. And then, with fresh enthusiasm, we move on to another passion. We are lucky people who, if left to our own devices, are never bored for long.54
“scanners”
Scanners want it all, not because they’re spoiled but for the same reason all your muscles want exercise. Scanners love variety because they have brains that process things quickly and are ready for new subjects sooner than other people. They have special abilities in many areas, and they’re built to use them.55
I would call RFMs diving scanners. They do both.
In her book, Refuse to Choose, Sher provides many examples of scanners who found innovative ways to do much of what they loved and also earn an income.
Emilie Wapnick’s website, puttylike.com. Emilie coined the word “multipotentialite” and created a community online for support and sharing of ideas.
Knowing that you take longer to make decisions because you are a divergent thinker, have perfectionist tendencies, are sensitive, and care deeply about your impact, can allow you to dis-identify as a flip-flopper or an obsessive-compulsive, careless, weak time-waster.
“Immersion learning” is a common learning style for RFMs, and Rebecca’s tendency to get engrossed in a subject was not abnormal for an RFM.
