At the root of all these difficulties is a fundamental confusion.5 The accidentalist account is plausible because we do in fact use accidents to tell things apart. We tell Groucho apart from Harpo by noticing that he is, for example, the one with the cigar, not the one with the blond wig. But that doesn’t mean that accidents really account for the distinctness between things. How could they, if accidents depend on those very things? This would be like saying that the Marx Brothers movies are funny because people laugh at them. It’s true that these two things go together: funny movies do
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