This Is Crazy (This Is, #1)

by Natasha Madison

My phone pings in my hand, and I look down to see that is Zoe. I swear we feel each other’s pain. I dial her, and she answers with a low tone. “Don’t tell me.” “He broke up with me,” I say, putting my hand to my mouth to stop the sobs from ripping through me. “I’ll be there in ten,” she says and disconnects, and I know that wherever she is, she will be here in ten minutes.

“I am getting myself the hottest date out there, and we are going to go and congratulate that pencil dick asshole.” “What do you mean by getting yourself a date?” my father asks, his face going white. “Are you hiring an escort? Zara Stone,” he hisses out my name. “Not exactly,” I say, smiling. “I’m going to do better.”

Zara Stone @ZaraStone When your ex-boyfriend gets engaged, you ask his idol @EvanRichards to be your date to crash his wedding. What do you say? Wanna be my date? #myexhasapencildick Zoe reads it and turns to high-five me while Karrie rolls her lips, trying not to laugh. Allison puts her hands in front of her mouth, and Vivienne just nods, drinking her wine. My phone beeps, and my father looks at me. “I think he answered.” I grab the phone from him just when I hear Karrie’s cell phone ring. Her eyes look from the phone to me. “It’s Matthew.” “Did he answer you?” Zoe asks, and I open my Twitter. Evan Richards @EvanRichards Sounds like a plan. DM me.

I swear I hold my breath when I see her. Her strawberry blond hair covers half her face and half her lips. Her gaze is aimed at the camera, and I swear it feels like she’s staring straight at me. I zoom in and see her eyes look gray, and her lips are plump and half open. She isn’t pretty, and she isn’t beautiful. Exquisite is the only word that comes to mind.

“Hello,” I say to him, trying to get my voice to sound as calm as possible, but it so doesn’t. “Zara,” he says. I sit on the bed, listening to his gruff and deep voice. I’m not going to lie; I spent the whole drive home googling him. I can’t say that I was surprised he was good looking, but he’s honestly the hottest guy I’ve ever seen. His face has a scruff that I like—no, scratch that, that I love. His hair is cut short on the side and long on top, and I could see running my hand through it. When I looked into his brown eyes, and it looked like he was actually looking at me, I knew I was way out of my league with this guy.

“Zara,” he says my name, and my stomach flips. “I’m coming to New York. I’m picking you up, and I’m taking you out for dinner.” He doesn’t stop there. “You can call it whatever you want to call it.” “That doesn’t answer my question,” I tell him, my hands getting clammy. “Well then, I guess we’ll find out,” he says.

My head comes up the second she walks into the room, and it’s a good thing I’m sitting down because I think I would fall. She doesn’t see me there, so it gives me time to get myself under control. Her strawberry blond hair hangs loose to her waist, and she is wearing loose blue pants that stop hallway down her calf. Her white long-sleeve sweater just makes her elegant and classy. The sleeves cut open at her wrist, and those fucking sky-high heels make her even hotter.

I see that her sweater goes off one shoulder, and I have this sudden urge to cover her with my jacket. I also have the sudden need to lean in and kiss her bare shoulder. I wonder if it’s as soft as it looks. I wonder if she would get goose bumps. I wonder if she would lean into me.

“You’re a funny guy,” she says when she finally stops laughing. “Now let me see the suit.” “I’ll show you whatever you want to see,” I tell her while I look at her in the mirror. Her eyes fly up to mine, and her cheeks get a touch pink. I am so fucked.

He takes one hand off my hips and brings it up to tuck my hair behind my ear. “You have to be the most beautiful woman I have ever met in my whole life.” His voice is soft, and I swear I’m inching closer to him. All my words are stuck in my throat, and nothing seems to be coming out. “It’s a dangerous place.” “What is?” I ask when I’m finally able to speak some words. “Your eyes,” he says. “I can get lost in your eyes.”

Her tongue comes out to lick her lip and then she pulls the whole bottom lip into her mouth, her teeth biting it. My mind starts playing tricks on me because all I can see is me advancing on her, taking her face in my hands, and kissing the shit out of her. “I should get going,” I say, getting up. I don’t want to leave but know that I should really, really go before I do something stupid that I can’t take back.

I get in the car, starting it up, and pull away even though I have no idea where I’m going. The only thing I knew was that I needed to get away from her before I turned back around and begged her until she said yes.

I feel his kiss linger on my cheek the whole time I’m locking the door after he left. My hands shake while I walk around the house, turning off the lights and heading upstairs to my bedroom. I’m exhausted and tense. Tense because I want to go watch his hockey game but know that I can’t without it getting back to my brother. Tense because I want to be his date to that casino night and tense because all I wanted was for him to kiss me before he left.

“I can’t kiss you right now,” I tell her, and her mouth opens a touch. “And it’s not ’cause I don’t want to. I’ve never wanted anything more in my life.” She looks down now and then up at me. “It’s because one kiss won’t be good enough. I know if I kiss you, I won’t stop kissing you.”

I hear barking, and then the phone flies out of his hand when the dog jumps on the bed. “Lilo, off,” he says and picks up the phone again. “Sorry, the dog jumped on the bed.” I laugh, looking at the dog look at the camera his nose coming to the screen and sniffing it. “Go away, she’s mine.”

“This isn’t a joke, Zara,” my father says. “He said you were his. You know what that means.” “Um,” I say, and my father continues. “There are certain men out there …” he starts. “Like your father,” my mother says, “and your brother and Max and Zack.” “Parker, this is not funny,” he says, and I can see them. “These men. Once they say you’re theirs, you’re theirs.”

“This past week, the only thing that kept me going was knowing I was coming to see you,” I tell him softly. “Our crazy time difference, the travel schedule.” I put one of my hands on his chest, my palm opening flat, the beating of his heart thumping against it. “I knew that come Friday I would be with you.” I take a deep breath, and I really wish I had a couple of shots of tequila before doing this. “I didn’t care where I was going to stay, and I didn’t care what I was going to wear. The only thing I cared about was seeing you.” I say the next part almost in a whisper. “The only thing I cared about is kissing you. Having you kiss me.”

His one hand goes to my hip, pulling me closer, while the other one goes to my neck. The heat from his hand makes me shiver, knowing he’s going to kiss me. I wait for it as he moves my face up to his, and then the moment I’ve been waiting my whole life for. His lips touch mine softly, his bottom lip touching my top lip as he tries not to rush the kiss. I bring my other hand up and wrap it around his shoulders and get on my tippy toes in front of him and finally his mouth touches mine. I think I sigh as my eyes close, and his tongue slowly moves into my mouth. His hands don’t move from my hip or my neck as he groans into the kiss. His tongue slowly rolls over mine, the kiss so slow that I savor it.

I’ll remember this kiss forever. It’s a kiss I’ve dreamed about; it’s the kiss that my sisters would tell me about that I never had, a kiss that every single little girl dreams about having. It’s a kiss that even if I wanted to tell them about it, I couldn’t do it justice.

He cups my face in his hand. “Ruined,” he says softly, leaning in and kissing me again softly. “If I don’t get away from you, no one is going to be eating.”

“I’m not going to hide that you’re mine,” he says, looking straight at me. “First thing, I’m my own person,” I tell him. “Second, we aren’t hiding anything. We are being private.” I grab another chip and dip it, waiting for him. “You kissed me,” he states. “You kissed me. You made yourself mine when you did it.”

“When it comes to you, sweet Zara, my mind is a mess,” he tells me softly, pushing my hair back from my face. “The only thing that I think about is how long I can keep you to myself.”

She walks with her hand in mine, and I swear it feels like it’s always been like this.

“You’re beautiful,” I tell her, and she looks at me, walking over to me. I lean in and kiss her neck right where I can feel her heart beat. When I feel its fast beat, I’m happy I’m not the only one feeling like this. “Hands down the most beautiful woman I’ve ever met in my life.”

If I died at this moment, my life would be complete is the only thing I can think. She is so much more than exquisite, and I can’t come up with the words. No words can do her justice.

I go on the ice and skate around, and then I see her. She is holding a kid in her hand that has to be Max’s. Seeing my girl holding a girl, I swear my heart squeezes in my chest. I almost stop skating in the middle of the ice when it hits me. I love her. I’ve fallen in love with her. She is wearing my jersey, but the little girl is wearing the New York jersey, and I skate to the side where she is at.

I finally realized that I’m in love with you.” I’m angry now, and I don’t wait for him to say anything. I just continue. “I kind of thought I liked you,” I tell him, “but then yesterday, it hit me. Like a cement truck.” I lay it all out for him. “I was standing there with my niece, and I saw you, and my heart, I don’t know, it got full,” I tell him. “Then I went back into the lodge, and I saw my mother look at my father, and then it just was there. I was holding my breath the whole game while drinking wine, I might add.” I throw my hands up. “I was getting the courage to tell you how I was feeling.”

“I love you,” he whispers to me when he finally lets go of my lips. “Loved you the first moment you walked into my house and sweet talked my dogs.” His forehead rests on mine as I hold his cheeks in my hands.

“Put your bag in my room this time.” “Really?” I look over my shoulder. “You were going to break up with me less than twelve hours ago.” “Yeah.” He smiles. “But you love me so …” He kisses my neck, and Lilo barks at him. “I will share her, but she’s mine.” I shake my head and walk to his room, dumping my bag in there and going to find my man.

I love her with everything I have. I love her like I have loved no other. That moment you see the person who owns your heart, who can destroy you. Knowing that without her, you are going to be half the man you should be. Knowing that only with her, your heart beats normal; knowing that only with her, everything is going to be okay.

“If it wasn’t crazy, I would ask her to marry me today,” I tell her. “If it wasn’t crazy, I would beg her to spend the rest of her life with me.” I finally take a deep breath. “I’m that serious, Candace.”

“I can’t cook,” I say, my heart starting to beat faster, and I now get up. “Like I can cook, but I can’t cook for your mother.” I start shaking my hands. “Oh, here we go,” Zoe says, and Evan looks over at her with worry on his face. “This is her ‘I’m freaking out’ voice.” “Why?” he asks the question. Yes, a stupid question indeed. “Why?” I shriek. “You shouldn’t have said anything,” Zoe tells him. “Why? Because the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.” “That is so not true.” Zoe shakes her head. “It’s usually through your vagina.”

“You did all this for me?” she asks me, and I still shake my head. “I did this for us,” I tell her. “For me and for you and for Lilo and Stitch and our kids.” “Our kids?” she asks me, and I take the second biggest leap of faith today as I get down on one knee in the middle of everyone, my family and her family.

Zara looks down at the phone and sobs. @ZaraStone will you be willing to change your name to @ZaraRichards. “What started off as a simple tweet became the best thing to ever happen to me,” I tell her and see that our mothers are hugging. “I don’t just want you to be my girlfriend. I want you to be my wife, and I want you to be the mother of my children. I want to commit the rest of my life to making you happy.” I grab the black box that I also picked up today after I signed the contract. “Will you be my wife?” “Yes,” she says, nodding her head. The whole crowd cheers, and when I look over, I see we are on the screens. She comes to me and grabs my face in her hands. “Yes, I’ll marry you.” So there in the middle of five hundred people, she agrees to be my wife. I slip the five-carat princess cut rose gold diamond ring on her finger and seal it with a kiss and not just a little peck. I seal it so everyone knows she’s mine.

“This has to be the craziest thing that has ever happened to me,” she says. “Beautiful, this is just the beginning of our crazy!”

I wish I could say that we didn’t adapt well to living with each other. I wish I could tell you that the spark that you have at the beginning had dwindled down. I wish I could tell you that after over a year together, it was just same old, same old, but it wasn’t. It’s so much more. I have a connection with him that I didn’t know I could have except with Zoe.

“Beautiful,” he whispers and kisses my belly, then pushes the shirt up and kisses it again. “I love you.” My hands go to his hair, rubbing it softly, and he looks up at me. “We are going to have a baby,” he whispers to me, and I just nod at him, the tears flowing like a waterfall down my face.

He gets up, taking my face in his hands and kissing me on the lips. “I love you with everything that I have, with every beat of my heat, and with every fiber of my soul.”

I stand there beside the man who answered a crazy random Twitter date request, the man who brings me coffee, the man who holds my door open for me, the man who sends me flowers just because, the man who owns not half my heart but the whole thing. The man I know I want to grow old with, I want to have babies with, and I want to bitch about. He puts his arm around my shoulder and pulls me to him, kissing my forehead. I wrap my arm around his waist. “I know this is crazy,” I start, and the tears and laughter come at the same time, “but we’re having a baby.”

We finally get down the aisle, and he stands his arm never letting me go. “Who gives this woman to be wed?” “Her family does,” he says, and then he looks over at Evan. “Welcome to the family, son.” And then, just like that, he hands me over to the man who was always in my dreams.