I know people like to look for psychological reasons for every aspect of our personalities. If you want to go down that route you need only look at my closest models of masculinity, viz my father (alcoholic, unreliable) and my brother (lazy, vindictive). It could simply be, however, that I was aware from an early age that a close relationship with a boy or man—or indeed anyone—would undermine my freedom, dilute my individualism, take up precious time and cause the unnecessary expenditure of emotional energy. Looked at logically like that, it’s astonishing that any rational person would want to
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