Rhythms of Renewal: Trading Stress and Anxiety for a Life of Peace and Purpose

by Rebekah Lyons

We began writing down all the moments when I felt most alive. We talked about my love for reading, writing, and communication, and started connecting the dots. Then we noted the moments where I felt at my worst, those moments when I couldn’t get a break from the endless responsibilities of raising children. I felt there wasn’t enough time to express the gifts God had given me. As we took inventory of those moments, God’s vision for my life came into focus.

It’s never too late to re-establish what you want your life to be about.

Instead of taking time to process the moments of my life, instead of reflecting in solitude over weeks, months, even, I processed everything in real time in the company of strangers. Whenever I felt anxiety setting in, I’d grab my phone, the distraction of choice. I filled my mind with everyone else’s noise, no matter how much it might cost.

You are worthy to receive something beautiful, and you don’t have to share it.

Far too many of us race through life full-throttle from photo to photo, achievement to achievement. We jump from distraction to distraction, image to image, issue to issue, never stopping to ask why. No wonder we are anxious and stressed!

I loved both the intense connection with people for long periods of time and the retreat to a silent hotel room.

an ambivert is “a person whose personality has a balance of extrovert and introvert features,”

WHEN WE CARVE OUT SPACE FOR THE QUIET, TO RETREAT TO A SILENT PLACE TO PRAY, JOURNAL, OR READ, WE REST FROM THE NOISY DISTRACTIONS OF OUR LIVES.

I knew that if we sit in regret too long, if we let it swirl without release, we descend into a rabbit hole of shame. We nurse guilt. So often, our regret, shame, and self-condemnation do not motivate us to be more present, more proactive. Instead, they lead to more anxiety and defeat.

Keep asking God, “What can I do now?”

Confession is the gateway to freedom. Freedom is the beauty of forgiveness.

Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day. You shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense. —RALPH WALDO EMERSON

WAS I LIVING WELL? LOVING WELL? FOCUSED ON WHAT MATTERS?

everything felt overwhelming. Even the simplest tasks—loading the dishwasher, sorting laundry, writing an email—felt like an uphill slog through molasses.

we have to restore the gifts God’s given us, the gifts of our bodies, minds, and souls.

I’d always believed this simple definition of bravery: Bravery is moving scared.

Once you know someone, you no longer label them.

When we don’t view our identity through a label, we’re able to find ways to thrive in spite of whatever label we are living under. This mindset helps us turn from despair to hope in action.

You may not be able to work in a trip to Europe anytime soon, but what if you decided in the next day, week, or month to take a mini-adventure? Anything can be made into an adventure—but it usually requires a little extra time and a willingness to risk and discover something new. Take your family or a few friends for a weekend camping expedition. Visit a local art gallery, or go on an architecture tour of your city. Set out to expose yourself to new things, especially if the adventure requires you to overcome a fear or two.

we exercise to stay mentally and emotionally healthy.

We exercise to increase our heart rate and stimulate the production of serotonin and dopamine, neurotransmitters God gave us to help us maintain our ideal state of well-being.

At some point, we have to make a decision and commit.

God designed you to break a sweat. Your body, your brain, and your spirit will thank you for it.

To discover something truly great, one must set sail and leave the shore of comfort. —KHANG KIJARRO NGUYEN

Pushing myself led to tangible, healthier results.

WHEN WE PUSH OURSELVES, WE DISCOVER HOW MUCH WE CAN ACCOMPLISH, HOW BRAVE WE CAN BE, AND HOW STRONG WE REALLY ARE.

It’s impossible to grow if we aren’t okay failing.

That’s why I call the next two rhythms—Connect and Create—output rhythms, rhythms that help us reach out to bless and help others.

Do I have meaningful connections in my life, connections that help me maintain spiritual and mental health, or am I sinking deeper into the stress and anxiety of isolation?

disconnected. I was so disconnected, in fact, that I wondered, If I moved away today, would anyone notice? At

There are friendships based on utility, friendships based on pleasure, and friendships based on virtue—the ideal. These friendships go deeper than convenience and encourage us in our shared commitments.1

BE THE FRIEND YOU WISH TO HAVE.

set out to live in this new way: being the friend I wanted to have. As I did, I found I was cultivating deep friendships, friendships that were covered with grace, friendships that were easy.

We show up for each other in the little ways when we practice presence, proximity, and permanence. When we’re authentic. When we bless. When we love. As we push into this kind of friendship, we find a rhythm of connection that rescues us from the anxiety of performance-based friendships and seats us in a community of love. It’s this community of love that gives us the courage to go out into the world as the blessing we were made to be.

We have to be willing, as John Townsend says, “to get down in the well with someone”4 and see life from their point of view. If at first this sounds risky and hard to imagine, stay with me. Taking small steps, choosing to trust, and being vulnerable with the right people can bring a freedom and connection like you’ve never known.

we are committed to showing up.

God knows my worst but believes my best.

Hospitality doesn’t require an elaborate meal with your best china or making sure every nook and cranny is clean. People crave connection and love to gather, even if the house isn’t perfectly put together. Creating a sustainable culture of hospitality requires casual frequency, getting together often, coming as you are, hosting as you are. Embracing connection over perfection lifts my spirits and encourages the hearts of my friends.

want to make it my mission to help people belong.

As Neil Postman predicted in his prophetic work from 1985, Amusing Ourselves to Death, “People will come to adore the technologies that undo their capacities to think.”6 I might put it another way: People have come to adore the technologies that undo their capacities to dream.

But what if you make the time, sit with a pad and paper, and can’t come up with any dreams? Take yourself back to age ten and reflect for a moment. What did you love to do most when you were eight, nine, ten? What talents were obvious to those around you? Why did you stop? The answers to these questions can offer clues and insight into your hardwiring, into who you are meant to be and what you are meant to do.

The act of creating doesn’t come from nowhere. It begins with a dream, and when we tap into our dreams, when we walk forward in them, God gives us renewed meaning and purpose. Knowing God’s meaning and purpose for our lives frees us from stress and anxiety, but it can also bring freedom to the world.

My excitement about working in the yard that weekend was a tangible expression of how I used to feel about my work. In the beginning, I was passionate to write and teach with energy to spare, coming up with new ideas and concepts each day and even into the night. God would press thoughts onto my heart, and I’d jot them down as quickly as they came. But over the years, that passion began to wane. I wanted that endless energy back, where I’d pour over volumes of research and study for long hours, my nose buried in books. I wanted to recover the same kind of passion and energy for writing and teaching as I found that weekend clearing weeds. I wanted to recover the passion that surrounded my vocation.

Identify those things and get rid of them: activities that don’t bring life, distracting obligations, or social media. Pull the weeds.

WHAT’S CHOKING YOUR PASSION, YOUR WORK, THE PLACE WHERE YOUR CREATIVE ENERGY WAS MEANT TO GO?

Using our hands, employing our God-given creativity to make something new, is good medicine for the soul. It helps us to focus on something other than ourselves and use our strategic problem-solving skills to create something that brings beauty and builds our confidence as creators. It fills us with a sense of accomplishment and often allows us to offer the world a gift.

MEMORIES AREN’T MADE FROM TO-DO LISTS

When we sacrifice the values we cherish most for the immediacy of checking things off our lists, we do ourselves harm. Our hearts need space to feel, create, embrace, and love—none of which can be placed on a to-do list.

Making memories helps us step outside ourselves, even if just for a moment. In seasons of great stress or anxiety, it might be the very thing that turns everything around.

The call and assignment of God is never possible without God.