The Places I've Cried in Public

by Holly Bourne

We leave behind echoes of our lives everywhere we go, trapping them into the fabric of the world around us.

I’m starting to think that some boys make girls cry, and then act like they’re crazy for crying.

Crying is a very obvious sign that something isn’t going right in your life. You should not ignore tears.

Guts and hearts aren’t always the most compatible – I’m starting to learn that. They pull in different directions, ignoring one another when they really shouldn’t. I think I need help working out which one I’m supposed to listen to. Because I don’t want to cry any more. I really don’t.

Kindness isn’t a reward for good behaviour, Amelie. It should be a given.”

You can’t force pain to leave until it’s ready to. Like the most annoying party guest, it only leaves in its own sweet goddamned time. Meanwhile there’s nothing you can do but carry it until it’s ready to be released. But understanding the pain – why it’s there, why it’s not leaving – it makes that burden much easier to bear.

“Sometimes,” she says, “when someone doesn’t treat us well and attacks the essence of who we are, that causes a trauma. It’s natural to want to be loved – it’s the most natural thing in the world. So, when we love someone and they hurt us, our brain doesn’t like it. Our brain doesn’t like trauma, it doesn’t like feeling unsafe, and sometimes it comes up with unhealthy shortcuts in order to trick us into feeling safe.”