Phen used the phrase non-queers. As much as I wanted to dive into his language and understand his words, I also refused to bite. The way he used words felt like bait. He wanted to enlighten me, to educate me. I didn’t want to experience Portland or obtain a queer education that way, not from some smug dude. His energy drained me. I didn’t like the way he said dyke. Maybe he was allowed to say it by association, but he wasn’t an associate of mine.