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Kindle Notes & Highlights
“In Hebrew there is not an exact equivalent to the word marriage; rather, we use the word kedoshim, which comes from the root holy. Our tradition teaches that holiness is the way we distinguish something sacred from that which is ordinary. You, Richie and Jordan, have taken each other as individuals but together you make a sacred union of one. You have raised your relationship to a holy place before God.”
Being gay means living with the tension between the freedom to be outside the line and the rage at not being inside.
Adolescence is a time of sexual awakening, discovery, and maturation. For those who don’t come out during adolescence, we often have to repeat it when we do. So for many of us that kind of emotional tumult and complicated feelings can be happening in our twenties, thirties, forties, fifties, and beyond.
Grandma and Grandpa now spend their days going to doctors’ appointments and friends’ funerals. My friends and I did that in our twenties.
Make relationship goals just as you would career goals. I never understand people who say, “I’m not looking for a relationship; if it happens it happens.” We get educated for our work lives and take internships at companies we aspire to be a part of, but we don’t put in the same effort to being ready to find the person we will spend our lives with and create a family. That we leave up to chance. I wouldn’t live in a house without a foundation. I have the relationship I wanted because I prioritized having it
If I were to answer I was born this way, I didn’t choose it, the logical conclusion is that I would not choose it—that of course I would choose to be straight, that of course I really wish I were straight. That is not an acceptable outcome. I will not give anyone the impression that being a gay person, living a gay life, is not enviable. If it is a choice, I’d choose it.
The only way I can make sense of the fact that the allyship of some in our family hasn’t extended to where we want it to be is that they do not fully appreciate how important being gay is to who we are and to all of who we are. They do not understand all the parts of our lives that require vigilance and that demand our singular focus.
