The Secret Lives of Introverts: Inside Our Hidden World

by Jenn Granneman

On one hand, being single and dating was one of the most exhilarating and personally meaningful times of my life. I found myself growing and changing in ways I had never imagined as I met new people and had new experiences. But on the other hand, it was simultaneously the loneliest, most difficult period of my life. I worried that my introversion held me back. That I was too weird or quirky to be loved. That my high standards meant I’d be forever alone.

If you find yourself becoming obsessed with someone you barely know, proceed with caution. It’s easy for introverts to idealize a potential love interest. Because we’re so in our heads, we can be in danger of filling in the gaps with our imagination and become quickly attached to something that isn’t even real.

“I found out why I’m still single. Apparently you have to go outside and let people see you.”

“I can see finding myself at the end of my life, offering the same explanation for never successfully marrying that author Louisa May Alcott did: ‘I never managed to fall in love.’

Being a single introvert looking for love is hard. Every day, you may doubt yourself. Every day, you may feel alone. You worry that there isn’t anyone out there for you. People tell you, “Don’t worry; it will happen.” But you’re pretty sure it won’t.

Eventually I figured if love was going to find me, it would; but if it didn’t, I would have to be okay with that