The Secret Lives of Introverts: Inside Our Hidden World

by Jenn Granneman

Your personality is shaped by your circumstances and experiences; your temperament is encoded in your DNA from birth. Turns out, both your personality and temperament work together to create who you are. It’s both nature and nurture.

many introverts journal to process their experiences better.

According to Laney, you use different brain pathways when writing than when speaking, and these “writing” pathways seem to flow more effortlessly for introverts.

It’s not that introverts have an unhealthy need to be alone. Solitude is our sanity.

Emotional intelligence, also known as EQ, doesn’t come easily for everyone. It’s a mixture of intrapersonal intelligence and interpersonal intelligence. In other words, it’s the ability to understand the emotions of others and the ability to control and manage your own emotions.

“I think too much about other people’s thoughts,” she says. “It prevents me from doing what I want for fear of how others will respond.” Christianne told me that she ruminates on things she could do or has done, even though she recognizes that this behavior is counterproductive. “It fuels my anxiety but doesn’t fix anything,” she says.

When you stand up for your needs, you may get reactions from other people that aren’t fun to deal with. But there’s power in saying the truth. Although people might not like what you say, your honesty shows them something important: that you care enough about the relationship that you’re willing to be vulnerable and real with them. You may find that when you speak up for your needs, people respect you more. It shows you value yourself and believe you’re worthy of respect. When you see yourself as a person who is worthy of respect, others will, too.