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“I’m going to call your boss and get that thing taken away from you.” She did a stylish twirl of the stick and slid it back into her belt without looking. “Call my boss? I am the law, bitch. So leave a message.”
“Hemorrhoids?” guessed Iris. “We’re getting closer to thirty. They say that’s when you really have to be careful. No more than five minutes on the toilet and definitely no straining.”