A Beginner's Guide to Free Fall

by Andy Abramowitz

I never thought much of the courage of a lion tamer. Inside the cage he is at least safe from other men. —George Bernard Shaw

Four months from now, on a secluded beach in Turkey, Davis Winger, who came thousands of miles to start over, will drop his towel and paperback on the sand, wade into the sea, and end up under the tire of a

Hyundai that has just come screeching over an embankment. He will be trapped under that car, pinned to the seabed with one final breath crowding his lungs. Time enough to lament that his daughter might now grow up without him; that he might never hear words of forgiveness from the woman he adored, and betrayed; that he might not live to build the roller coaster that his

six-year-old had dreamed up from a storybook and that he had spent the summer e...

All alone and far from home, he’ll reach for the surface as the sea encloses.

Britt’s cheek,

Rachel asked,

To which Rachel asked, “How often do people die on these things?”

Britt stood clutching the stuffed bird of indeterminate breed that Rachel had “won” by coming

She was still too busy white-knuckling the bar.

I can relate

Last hugs, mommies and daddies! We have so much to do today! (The subtext being, Get the fuck out, see you in June.)

“Mean people are just sad inside,” she’d told Davis.

clothoid—

“It just felt a little unsafe in my opinion.”

accomplishment, but he had to earn that glory by suffering through the launch, which was as

he was finally done with the Squall, done with that awful, confusing episode he’d never understand and wanted only to distance himself from.

????

“Let’s blow this taco stand and get

“No, I decided I liked it.” Davis reached up and squeezed one of Rachel’s knotty knees. “I support your decision, little face.”

wingding

Norman Winger,

But as his children, his granddaughter, and his lady friend, Peti, knew, Norman was indeed a different man when he wasn’t out in public. He was even better.

innovation. If Pavelka was Frances McDormand, IlluMind was Gal Gadot.

???

Richard Reinstock, the founder, owner, and emperor of the Weekly Ramble and the only

Zach Klinefelter

at the falafel joint that Molly would’ve liked so much more if it didn’t have a tattoo parlor in the back.

the launch of the Squall.

He was abundantly cologned and bedecked in a pinstripe suit that glistened like a glazed doughnut.

Then again, it was always a mistake to underestimate the curative properties of a cash payout.

You could ride over Hans’s mother with your car, and he still wouldn’t be mad at you.” It was a weak point. Who would get mad over that?

Pavelka & Gates.

“We do, however, have to put you on ice.”

at Hans Pavelka, at Keiko Gates, who wasn’t even there, at the

Had he clicked the “between twenty-eight and thirty-five” button by accident?

“They were,” Molly said, letting it slide that he’d called Scotland’s natives by their signature whisky. Common mistake. No reason to be a snob.

His face went hazy. “I don’t really remember a castle. But I was there a long time ago. Maybe it wasn’t built yet?” Possibly, she was tempted to say. The castle was built in 1280. When were you there?

a kiddie pool’s worth of depth

Richard

who dis?

Molly had had only herself to blame for that debacle. That’s what happened when you took children to the theater.

Skyler, her old friend from her college days, might

Are you inviting me out to listen to the cello? was Skyler’s response. When did you turn sixty?

belted out “Rainy Night in Georgia”

“You have fantastic hips, did you know that?” he said to her hips.

Davis waved his hand. “Pavelka and me, we’re done.”

“That, my dear, is a very lawyer thing to say.” Fuck Hans. And double-fuck Keiko. There was

Not Jeff whatever-his-name-was, who forced Hans to bust out the sexual harassment policy and explain that there would never, ever be a situation in which it would be appropriate to use the word lube in the workplace. Davis chuckled at the memory. “Lube,” he said out loud.

“Did you just say lube?” Britt asked. His mood took a sudden plummet, and

or just random bad timing, a text message had appeared on

Not even Britt Palandjian could return to work and make like business as usual after so obliterating a surprise.

and producing a condom from her purse. (Malice aforethought!)

But just as powerful, and twice as surprising, was the disappointment. It hadn’t been worth it. No one had ever said anything about that.