War with the Newts

by Karel Čapek

Thanks to this scientific achievement, men ceased to look on the Newts as some sort of a miracle; in the sober light of science the Salamanders lost much of their primeval nimbus of being extraordinary and exceptional; having become objects of psychological tests, they showed very average and uninteresting qualities; their high talents were scientifically relegated to the realm of myths. Science discovered a Normal Salamander, who appeared as a dull and rather mediocre creature; only the newspapers from time to time still discovered a Miraculous Newt who could multiply numbers of five figures in his head, but even this ceased to amuse the people, especially after it appeared that with proper training even a mere man could accomplish that.

Real self-respecting men of the Newt Age will no longer waste their time pondering about the substance of things; they will only be concerned with their quantity and mass production. The whole future of the world lies in the continuous increase in production and consumption; therefore there must be still more Newts to produce and to devour still more.