Jeremy McLeod

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Her frustration was boiling over with this maddening man!
Jeremy McLeod
Again, you haven't been writing in third person omniscient, so if you waant to talk about someone's reaction, you've got to do it from the POV of the chapter's narrative character (e.g. Dale, Cal, or Dani.) Also, don't use exclamation points in prose. It's amateurish.
Dungeon Calamity (The Divine Dungeon, #3)
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