Jeremy McLeod

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“That would be fine. Dismissed,” Dale gave a ritualistic order, and the Elf vanished.
Jeremy McLeod
Again, don't have dialog and then IMMEDIATELY describe the dialog. If what they're doing isn't clear from their dialog, you need to write better dialog. Like, "dismissed" is hardly a ritualistic command, so maybe have Dale remember something from the memory stone and decide to try saying "dismissed" in Elvish.
Dungeon Madness (The Divine Dungeon, #2)
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