Sorry I'm Late, I Didn't Want to Come: One Introvert's Year of Saying Yes

by Jessica Pan

faked being sick, walked into a networking event and immediately backed out,

been there!

but apparently some introverts can be ultraconfident in groups or capable of smoothly delivering presentations.

me :-/

What makes them introverts is that they just can’t take stimulation and large crowds for extended periods of time.1

I’d spent nearly three years getting used to Beijing, a city where the locals always tell you what they think about you. The local teahouse owner? He thought I was too fat. My landlady? She thought I was too thin. My fruit seller? He thought I did not drink enough hot water.

I think back to Stefan saying, “People who lack social anxiety: it’s a sign of psychopathy.”

On a crowded bus one day, an older woman sitting down near me smacks my elbow and barks, “Open the window—I’m hot!” I’m giddy just imagining the shit I’ll get up to when I’m eighty.

Which in modern life means wandering alone until you die of exposure and starvation, still clutching your PowerPoint notes.

Research shows that when we are stressed, our bodies also release cortisol, which interferes with our attention and short-term memory.

Wow

“I get very chatty when I’m nervous,” he says. He launches into the history of Icelandic democracy and Vikings. I’m beginning to appreciate why the British hate David.

love my parents. I do. But we’re all a little fucked up by our parents, no matter who they are.

“Oh no! Aries are THE WORST! It’s a massive clash! It’s always, ‘ME ME ME,’ and they’re so moody and stubborn. And obsessed with having a man in their lives.”

“Unsolicited dick pics are a very real thing,” she says. “I’m very sorry to hear that,” I say, laughing. “But the good thing is that I get to see some great bathroom tile designs,” she adds.

And how do other people date multiple people at once? How can you possibly stay motivated? Why would you want to? The admin is a nightmare. The small talk. The rote life story swapping.

Because even if we’re smart and hardworking, a big factor in professional success is who you know. Research has shown that it is our outer circle of acquaintances, also known as “weak ties,” that brings about the most change in our

It is the weak ties, the people we are only loosely connected to, who are actually more influential on our lives. They bring new information, advice, and perspectives: new job prospects, commissions, fresh inspiration, or collaborators that we would otherwise have never discovered.

But I often sign up for networking events because I want to believe this is going to be the evening that will change my life. This is the night I’ll meet someone who will look into my eyes; see all of my wild, undernourished potential; take me under their wing; mentor me; and tell me I’m the new head of Netflix.