Sorry I'm Late, I Didn't Want to Come: One Introvert's Year of Saying Yes

by Jessica Pan

“We need allies to survive, hence the need for sociability. We all seek deep connections with other people, but as we get older, loneliness is an unavoidable

recent study says that staring at our phones and ignoring people has become our new normal, which is probably also why we have forgotten how to be around our own species.

“People are usually very happy to answer personal questions if they feel the person asking them is genuine and kind.”

I love my parents. I do. But we’re all a little fucked up by our parents, no matter who they are.

A big source of my loneliness is not having a close friend I can call and meet for coffee at a moment’s notice and share everything that’s been happening in my life.

Most of the conversations are really banal, so it’s hard to say, “Should we continue this conversation about nothing over dinner?” Plus there are women who simply don’t reply to you, as if your opener of, “Hey, Jen, is that your dog in the photo?” isn’t good enough for them.

We keep our emotions in check, and it’s collectively agreed that explicit displays of strong feeling are uncomfortable for everyone.

Yes, but to me, the failure is much more embarrassing if you try.

But self-confidence doesn’t find us: we have to push ourselves to do something hard and live through it, and then confidence will eventually follow. I’d faked confidence and, by doing so, created it. It really did feel like a feat of wizardry.

part of introversion for some people is being too much inside their own head, being overly cautious, and not opening themselves up to other people. Which means less spontaneous adventure and more agonizingly detailed activity spreadsheets, with plenty of scheduled breaks.

“Jess, I can’t remember ever thinking somebody’s a murderer.” That’s because you’re a man, I think, darkly.

Introverts crave closeness but often dislike putting themselves in situations that are likely to initiate new relationships.