Our culture of ambition has only two speeds: either win or quit. But perhaps our ambition to win is a hunger to be noticed—maybe even a lifelong, unarticulated hunger to be noticed by a father, to hear him say, “Well done. You did it.” But that’s not why he loves you. You don’t have to win, but you also don’t have to quit. You only have to quit performing, quit imagining his love is earned. You can rest, but you don’t have to quit. You just need to change why you play.
