The Moonshiner's Daughter

by Donna Everhart

You could say Aunt Juanita was a blend of sympathy and meanness, neither all that helpful.

Once you talk about a thing, it’s like a commitment, and before you know it, you’re getting asked, Have you started yet? and, Why not?

I wanted to get away from the legacy of my ancestors that was attached to me like my own skin, our last name synonymous with moonshine and bootlegging. I didn’t want to be known as the moonshiner’s daughter.

The creek running nearby wasn’t helpful in separating noises caused by nature versus man.

Uncle Virgil sat up, shook the ice in his glass, a rude way of telling me to get him some more.

For the past year or so, I’d begged not to be made to go, my humiliation like the weight I carried, easy for anyone to see.

What had happened to us fastened around me like when I tightened my belt to keep my stomach from hurting. We could’ve all been killed and no one would have found us for days.

the hole in my middle always there, always growing until I was overtaken by it. Even I understood this wasn’t entirely about food. No. No matter how much I ate to try and rid myself of the hollowness, to eliminate the want, I didn’t know how except to do this.

Making and hauling shine was the most important thing to him. More important than Mama, Merritt, and certainly me.

The feeling of failure flowed over me like water as I rinsed and scoured until my skin was as raw and hot as my embarrassment.

There was an air of celebration, the Sasser swagger on display, invincible and unshakable. How could I ever feel part of this family when I didn’t understand what they felt, or where it came from, that pride and honor?

I imagined going past Wilkesboro, North Wilkesboro, and on to sights unseen. Going someplace where no one knew me, didn’t know a thing about me, away from the worry.

Breathe slow; don’t let it get you. You got a monster in you thinks it’s the boss. You got to show that it ain’t.”

She felt very different about it than me. She saw shine as a simple tonic for certain ailments. She didn’t hold to the idea it was nothing but trouble, and caused a mountain of grief. It hadn’t cost her like it had us.