The only thing missing was a case of Bounty paper towels, because this former cheerleader was a squirter, and by the time we were done there was a mess all over the backseat of the Buick, and, even worse, all our body heat and friction had baked it into the fabric. There was no way I could bring my parents’ car home smelling like diluted girl pee. We’re not Germans. I had to fix this.
