You Never Know: A Memoir

by Tom Selleck

The lessons you experience, not the ones you are simply told, are the ones you remember most clearly.

It was at that moment that I was reminded of a phrase he used: “Risk is the price you pay for opportunity.”

I was learning that the why of it was what I should be thinking about.

Sports had taught me the value of perseverance,

it’s hard to keep your eye on the prize when you have no idea what the prize is going to be.

Even in commercials, you needed to make it look like “here goes nothing” while you committed yourself to the idea that “here goes everything.”

Nothing in the world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. The slogan “Press On!” has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race.

Cary Grant said, “You have to have the courage to make mistakes, the courage to be bad.” I think from that time on, I granted myself the right to fail. And the more I granted myself the right to fail, the more I risked. And the more I risked, the more I learned. And the more I learned, the more I was willing to deliver myself to the uncertainty of the future.

hey, somebody gives you a donut, you can either see the donut or see the hole.

Look, being offended is a choice; you have to make a choice to be offended. I chose not to be offended.

you don’t ever stop a scene.

“Luck is unpredictable but talent takes advantage of it. Thus the talented have, in effect, more of it.”

I had already “gotten there” a few times, and it wasn’t such a big deal, because there was always somewhere else to go.

It was the whole

journey that matte...

giving in to a sense of failure and self-pity was not a place I ever wanted to go again. That lesson had lasted and pretty much prepared me for this World Series of disappointments.

My growth as an actor always seemed tied to my confidence in my acting.

I had learned many times over by now that life isn’t fair, but at least I could be.

“Luck is unpredictable but talent takes advantage of it. Thus the talented have, in effect, more of it.”

The hard-earned lesson that all those years had taught me was that you can’t control the outcome, but you’re fully in control of the effort.

there was no way a new deal could ever make up for the loss of income so many of my fellow working actors had suffered.

What a kind thing to do! Jack could easily have kept that space, and nobody would have said a word. But he was passing the torch. And at that moment, I knew it. And I think he knew it. That was so important to me. But you know, it seemed to be even more important to him.

“One of the first sentences I learned from my mother in my childhood was from this Holy Scripture: ‘Aloha ke akua’—in other words, ‘God is aloha.’ Aloha is the power of God seeking to unite what is separated in the world—the power that unites heart with heart, soul with soul, life with life, culture with culture, race with race, nation with nation.”

rule. “I try to find one thing I can hang my hat on. Maybe it’s one scene or even just one moment that I can look at with pride.

Fame is a vapor. Popularity is an accident. Money takes wing. The only thing that endures is character.

“You have to play through fatigue.”

“Show up on time, put a smile on your face, and do your job” (all thanks to Jim Garner).

You have to choose to be offended. That was something I had told myself many times. In today’s world, it might be: Think a second time before you push send. I settled on: File it away, keep laying bricks, make the show better, do good work.

There’s no such place as getting there. There’s always somewhere else to go.

But in the film business, the work is waiting for you every day, and you owe it your commitment every day.

Finding my character was always my first priority as an actor.

if you’re not mindful, that kind of acceptance can be fleeting. I’ve always felt that if an audience begins to think they’re being taken for granted, sooner or later you’re gonna lose them, at least some of them.

Always expect the unexpected.

success needs to be constantly nurtured. That it can be fleeting.

“D.D.I.I.” (Don’t do it, idiot.)

How do you come to terms with fame? You can’t go to school for it. But you have to find a way to handle it or it will eat you alive.

Everyone needs a private place where they can go where no one can see them, see what’s inside them.

“It’s never going to say in the credits that ‘he would have been better if he wasn’t so burned out.’ ”

perception is often more important than reality. No excuses.

Happiness comes from within.

Magnum’s is the fifth-highest-rated season finale in television history. We had 50.7 million viewers. And, oh yeah, Cosby is only sixth. We finally beat The Cosby Show.

the results couldn’t justify the loss of income for so many in our industry.