More on this book
Community
Kindle Notes & Highlights
Read between
June 30 - June 30, 2020
more ancient parts of your body operate with a nostalgia for a world that passed when humans first crafted civilization.
why so much of the modern world leaves us stressed out, lonely, and confused, and how words shape our reality more powerfully than we can imagine.
be more conscious of the ways you operate on autopilot.
You are a miracle because 86 billion neurons in your brain form into thousands of structures and networks, built from a map created over billions of years to understand the world you live in.
sometimes, you are a pain in your ass because all these networks are running a playbook that’s been around a lot longer than you have.
Your brain isn’t here to show you an honest picture of the world, or to make you happy.
Your brain helps you survive on a planet that is often hostile to life.
diversity in human behaviors helps ensure our species sticks around and adapts.
I’m good at absorbing and synthesizing information, and I can be an emotive and compelling storyteller.
Crying at your desk is an easy way to get beat up during recess, so I learned to shove down my tears and escape into my imagination.
made me look obstinate to my teachers.
I’ve got a million little strategies like these to get me through the day. They allow me to look normal, even successful, to other people.
But there are some things that I’ve never been able to compensate for,
For years, I understood these behaviors were abnormal, but I never questioned why I did them—let alone asked a doctor, or a therapist, or any medical professional for an opinion.
in recent years, Jenny and I have spent more time together than ever before. That’s made it hard for me to hide my “quirks.”
I’m only vaguely aware of this when it happens, but the expression on Jenny’s face helps me realize what I’m doing.
A couple of years ago, listeners with autism started asking me how I cope with being an autistic person and a public figure.
the misfits who listen to our podcast
She kept asking about things I’m embarrassed about, and that I hide from other people.
She asked if either now, as a child, or both, I’ve experienced temper tantrums that I couldn’t control.
the moments when I’ve sat in my car ...
This highlight has been truncated due to consecutive passage length restrictions.
“Can you keep looking at my eyes while you speak?”
Adults who can make it to adulthood without a diagnosis are very good at hiding most of their symptoms.
IT’S SHOCKING TO learn you have autism when you are forty years old. It’s even more shocking if you are in the process of writing a book about self-knowledge and self-acceptance.
But it didn’t take long before I felt relieved.
I actually find that really comforting. I’m not broken, I’m autistic.
You may or may not be autistic, but I do know that your brain is as unique as my own.
But, however you are wired, and however that wiring has been reinforced by your life, I want you to know something: You aren’t broken either.
You are here. You are alive. You have survived the challenges of life, and each part of you—even the parts you don’t like or appreciate—has played a role in your continued existence.
the Big Five model is based on data instead of theory. It measures personality on five spectrums: openness to experience, agreeableness, extraversion, conscientiousness, and negative emotionality.
We have unique brains, and our unique brains need each other’s strengths.
In its wisdom, evolution created a remarkably diverse species in Homo sapiens, but our human cultures do a terrible job of acknowledging the value of that diversity.
I’m not setting up yet another example for you to compare yourself against. Instead, I am trying to help you discover your unique strengths, and how they emerge from the completely unique organism that is you.
The world that we, as a species, have created for ourselves is nothing like the one we evolved in—and yet we wonder why our behaviors are so hard to control.
Every time I take a bite of a slice, I feel happy, even joyous, as my brain is flooded with chemicals designed to tell my body “That’s good! Do more of that!”
As we use the tools at our disposal to look as attractive as possible, we both help create a world where the natural, instinctual drives of Homo sapiens are whipped into a perpetual state of overdrive.
one reason why we have different genetic compositions is that life hedges her bets.
The popular misuse of mental health terms makes it difficult to have the kinds of conversations we need to have about supporting people with real mental illness.
Compulsions are more common—almost everyone engages in compulsive behaviors today. A compulsion is a repetitive, ritualistic behavior that a person performs without rational motivation.
Over time, a compulsion like this will form neural networks in our brains that bypass our rational capacity—which is why compulsive behaviors are difficult to control with “willpower.”
We engage in compulsions because they offer reli...
This highlight has been truncated due to consecutive passage length restrictions.
Addictions often (but not always) have a cycle of escalation, while compulsions can offer patterns of stable activity over years (or decades).
an overwhelming majority of men in the developed world watch porn on the Internet—at least 70 percent, and possibly higher than 90 percent.
Religious and political conservatives talk constantly about the dangers of porn, but they do so by shaming people about their sexuality and sexual desires, projecting immorality on normal aspects of human behavior.
People watch porn to masturbate.
Orgasms are powerful. When viewed in brain imaging studies, they look a lot like the high produced by heroin—which makes orgasms a powerful conditioning tool.
compulsive porn users had higher reward-circuit activity than their peers when both groups were exposed to porn.
The people performing in porn are professionals. What viewers see on screen doesn’t set realistic expectations for what’s possible during intimacy.
Porn is pizza for your sexual brain.
Certain religious groups are most likely to promote abstinence and modesty as solutions to porn addiction: Evangelical Protestants, biblical literalists, and those with higher church attendance.
