Depression Hates a Moving Target: How Running With My Dog Brought Me Back From the Brink

by Nita Sweeney

finding a community can transform a life.

My mind was trying to kill me again.

I’ve heard minds like mine described as a ghetto. You shouldn’t spend much time there without backup.

Rather, daily living exhausts me mentally.

I counted a victory when, after this first week, I didn’t nap. ***

Despite my success, I still had to talk myself into every workout.

By day three, napping didn’t come to mind.

“Races are like parties for people who exercise. Plus, you raise money for charity.”

Panting again, I slowed to what must have looked like a crawl to the people not watching from their houses.

The troll responded by using my account photo to clone my account by adding one letter to the end of my name. I’d naively used my real name, and a photo of me with Mr. Dawg as my avatar. The troll wrote critical posts about other members of the forum under this new account which, at a brief glance, looked like mine. He also looked up my Twitter account and website and criticized those. The forum moderators took down the troll’s comments and account, but the troll continued. From then on, I didn’t engage, but simply clicked the “report abuse” button. I also changed my username, password, and photo. But I didn’t leave.

If there’s anything I love, it’s a good gadget.

Once again, my mind had taken a trip it hadn’t needed.

stuck in the mental sludge,

When snow fell at the Snowflake 5k, I wondered if that made me a real runner. I used ChiRunning principles to “relax and lean” enough to chase down a woman at the finish. When I made the mistake of thanking her for helping me run faster, she scowled and replied, “Thanks for kicking my ass!” Oops.