When you suddenly set boundaries that you’ve never set before, please expect your child to push up against them. She has to. To see if they’re real, if you are serious, if you do in fact mean business. Children have to push up against you to feel safe! It’s such a strange paradox because it feels like the opposite. It can feel like they are saying, “No! I don’t want this rule. I don’t want this boundary.” But what they are really saying, if we could articulate the emotional response, is, “Thank God you’re telling me where to stop. But I have to make sure. I have to test you. Because if you
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