death, I heard from God—not an audible voice speaking to my ears, but an inner voice, speaking to my heart: Do you want answers or a companion to walk with you through the questions? And my reply: O God, I want both! So did Jesus at Gethsemane. So did Jesus on the cross. And he chose the Father and his will over all, over everything else. In that moment, I realized that if I had to choose between knowing the why and knowing the who, between closure or intimacy with the Lord, I would choose the Father too. Just as Jesus did. Even if I had to live lost in the questions, as long as I could live
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