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by Steven James

There comes a point when hiding doesn’t work anymore, when diversions and denial just don’t cut it and you’re ready for the truth, whatever that might be. And when it does come at you, when the truth slams full force into you, that is a gift—always—even though it may feel like a curse rather than a blessing at the time.

death, I heard from God—not an audible voice speaking to my ears, but an inner voice, speaking to my heart: Do you want answers or a companion to walk with you through the questions? And my reply: O God, I want both! So did Jesus at Gethsemane. So did Jesus on the cross. And he chose the Father and his will over all, over everything else. In that moment, I realized that if I had to choose between knowing the why and knowing the who, between closure or intimacy with the Lord, I would choose the Father too. Just as Jesus did. Even if I had to live lost in the questions, as long as I could live there with him beside me, I would be okay. Yes, Jesus wept when he saw Jerusalem’s unbelief.