Matilda

by Roald Dahl

She was someone who minded her own business and had long since discovered it was seldom worth while to interfere with other people’s children.

“Never do anything by halves if you want to get away with it. Be outrageous. Go the whole hog. Make sure everything you do is so completely crazy it’s unbelievable.

Margarine, Matilda thought. She really must be poor.