When I got to school that morning, I opened my locker and gasped when I saw it was filled with peonies and dozens of banana Laffy Taffys. There was a sticky note sitting against the metal locker, and I pulled it off and read it. Here’s some flowers and candy to make up for your crappy night. I was going to get you penises, but went with peonies instead. -Satan P.S. Do you know how hard it is to find peonies during this time of the year? It’s almost impossible. Almost.
