Will My Cat Eat My Eyeballs? And Other Questions About Dead Bodies

by Caitlin Doughty

No. We now have a whole battery of scientific tests to confirm that someone is not just in a coma, but really, truly brain-dead. These tests include but are not limited to: Seeing if your pupils are reactive. When a bright light is shined into them, do they contract? Brain-dead people’s eyes don’t do anything. Dragging a cotton swab over your eyeball. If you blink, you’re alive! Testing your gag reflex. Your breathing tube might be moved in and out of your throat, to see if you gag. Dead people don’t gag. Injecting ice water into your ear canal. If doctors do this to you and your eyes don’t flick quickly from side to side, it’s not looking good. Checking for spontaneous respiration. If you are removed from a ventilator, CO2 builds up in your system, essentially suffocating you. When blood CO2 levels reach 55 mm Hg, a living brain will usually tell the body to spontaneously breathe. If that doesn’t happen, your brain stem is dead. An EEG, or electroencephalogram, which is an all-or-nothing test. Either there is electrical activity in your brain or there isn’t. Dead brains have zero electrical activity. A CBF, or cerebral blood flow study. A radioactive isotope is injected into your bloodstream. After a period of time, a radioactive counter is held over your head to see if blood is flowing to your brain. If there is blood flow to the brain, the brain cannot be called dead. Administering atropine IV. A living patient’s heart rate will accelerate, but a brain-dead patient’s ...