Will My Cat Eat My Eyeballs? And Other Questions About Dead Bodies

by Caitlin Doughty

That’s why all the questions in this book come from 100 percent ethically sourced, free-range, organic children.

Let’s keep in mind that, as much you adore your domesticated meowkins, that sucker is an opportunistic killer that shares 95.6 percent of its DNA with lions. Cats (in the United States alone) slaughter up to 3.7 billion birds every year.

Viva Rumpelstiltskin!

she will lose consciousness in nine to eleven seconds. This is a weirdly specific, kind of creepy time frame. Let’s call it ten seconds. She has ten seconds to get herself back into a pressurized environment.

(Why are you hiding your space corpse protocol, NASA?)

Lol

(“I’m bringing body back, returning corpses but they’re not intact.”)

I think three and a half feet is a good compromise.

Once Grandma has had her time to decompose, her bones need to step aside for a whole new generation of rotting corpses. I wonder if anyone has ever written that exact sentence before? I wonder that a lot.

that is, chemicals that trigger attraction or avoidance around dead things. If you are a cadaver dog or blowfly, these smells tell you you’ve found the dead body you’re looking for. If you are a scavenger animal