Will My Cat Eat My Eyeballs? And Other Questions About Dead Bodies

by Caitlin Doughty

(“I’m bringing body back, returning corpses but they’re not intact.”)*

* Kids, this is a Justin Timberlake reference, you’re fine not knowing who that is.

Kids, a vinyl record is . . . never mind.

it’s . . . bacteria farts.

flesh case.

Rigor mortis is more than just the name of a python I used to own.

Take the new process called aquamation. You already know about cremation, which uses flames to burn the flesh and organic matter, leaving only a skeleton. Aquamation uses water and potassium hydroxide to dissolve the dead body down to its skeleton. The aquamation process is better for the environment and doesn’t use natural gas, a valuable resource. But the idea that a body can be dissolved in water drives some people wild with fear—especially when they find out that the water used in the process, which is not dangerous in any way, is sent into the sewer system.

Other cultures gave up on burial entirely. High in the mountains of Tibet, where the ground is often too rocky and frozen for burial, and where not enough trees grow to perform cremations, a different kind of death ritual developed. To this day, bodies are laid out in an open area for a sky burial, a lovely name for the dead body being consumed by vultures. Your cat might eat you after you die, but a vulture can’t wait to rip you to pieces and carry you off into the sky.

(although I still use “dead house” as a nickname for my funeral home).

Hammibal Lecter