The Shadows Between Us

by Tricia Levenseller

“I don’t have time to read,” Kallias says. “But even if I did, I wouldn’t. It’s not a hobby of mine. I’d much prefer to run with Demodocus or spend time with you.”

No one but me is allowed to decide when Kallias Maheras, king of six realms and counting, is going to die.

“He will never love you,” Leandros says. His tone isn’t unkind, only explanatory. “He will never marry you or touch you or be with you in all the ways you deserve. What do you plan? To forever live a half-life with him?”

I am shocked by the sudden realization that I would rather have this life. This life of Kallias’s trust and friendship, of helping him to rule a kingdom without having any real power, just a king’s ear—I would rather have all of that than another fling with a man who will just give me jewels because he likes the things I do to him in bed.

“I didn’t tell Leandros no because of some deal I have with you. I told him no because it would take me away from you.”

“I told you, you’re my equal. You’ve assisted me in more ways than one. You’ve been my constant companion these last couple of months, and I don’t ever want you to leave, Alessandra. I want to show you how I respect and appreciate you.”

But he’s going to give me power. Share his power. Just like he’s sharing the head of the table. But I still won’t be able to touch him. I won’t have him.

Equal power. Rule the kingdom … with him? That means— I wouldn’t have to kill him. He’ll give me everything I want, and I won’t have to get rid of him. My friend and companion.

“I need you, Alessandra. Say you’ll be mine and I’ll be yours.”

No one is killing my king tonight.

“I think that when you care enough for someone, you reach a point where it’s far more painful not to have him at all than to have him and risk losing him. You realize the risk is worth it. Because happiness, however short-lived, is always worth it.”

When I dare to look up into his eyes, I realize it’s the wrong thing to do. I’m burning. My core goes up in flames. His gaze looks hungry, heated, desirous. The look of a man who hasn’t had human contact in a year.

Then he raises his voice for the whole room to hear. “Lady Alessandra Stathos, will you be my queen? My equal in all things? A protector and ruler of Naxos and the conquered realms? Will you marry me?” “Yes.”

“Weren’t you listening to me? I’m done with it all! I’m not my father. I’m not going to spend my life alone so I can reach a hundred. Three hundred. A millennium. I don’t care about a long life anymore. I can’t stand being alone for one second longer. I can’t stand being apart from you for one second longer.” His face falls as something occurs to him. “But if you don’t feel the same way, I’m sorry I accosted you.”

“I’m done watching you flirt with other men. I’m sick of it. I don’t want you kissing or touching anyone but me.”

“I want a life with you, Alessandra, one without the shadows between us.

And then he carries me to the bed. The Shadow King, it turns out, was well worth the wait.

Waiting. Not waiting. One lover. A hundred lovers. There should be no judgment either way. A woman is not defined by what she does or doesn’t do in the bedroom.

“I’m not a trollop,” I announce to the empty room. “I’m a sexually empowered woman, and there is nothing wrong with that.”