Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? (And Other Concerns)

by Mindy Kaling

For instance, they say the best revenge is living well. I say it’s acid in the face—who will love them now?

CACKLING

(1) There is no sunrise so beautiful that it is worth waking me up to see it. (2) I would like to be friends with Beyoncé Knowles.

Truth

My theory is that this is because there’s a huge overlap between people who are good at Frisbee and people who do Teach for America.

💯

What I’ve noticed is that almost no one who was a big star in high school is also big star later in life. For us overlooked kids, it’s so wonderfully fair.

We clung to each other with blind loyalty, like Lord Voldemort and his snake, Nagini. I, of course, was Nagini.

Best quote ever

I’d like to be so famous that if I want to lazily eat out on a Sunday afternoon, someone whisks me past a long line of poor slobs waiting in the sun and to a private table.

Goals

Later I would privately theorize that he never involved himself in gossip because—and I am 99 percent sure of this—he is secretly Perez Hilton.

On Steve Carrell from The office