Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? (And Other Concerns)

by Mindy Kaling

What else should I know? (1) There is no sunrise so beautiful that it is worth waking me up to see it. (2) I would like to be friends with Beyoncé Knowles.

When we graduated high school, she went to the Cooper Union in Manhattan to pursue her love of set design, and I went to Dartmouth to pursue my love of white people and North Face parkas.

in a line, and you have to walk through one room to get to the next. Everything about it is awful, except if you need a set for a play that takes place during the Great Depression. The only people this intimate setup worked for were three female best friends who had no secrets from one another, were comfortable (enough) being walked in on naked, and had no boyfriends (or no boyfriends who were ever invited over).

pursuing acting jobs, but this one was tailor-made

Here’s my incredibly presumptuous guide to being an awesome guy, inside and out. Mostly out, for who am I to instruct you on inner improvement? Let me say here that if you’re some kind of iconoclastic dude who goes by the beat of your own drum, you will find this insufferable. I totally understand this. But why are you even reading this book at all? Shouldn’t you be hiking the Appalachian Trail right now or something?

At this point you might want to smack me and say: “Are you seriously another grown woman talking about how she wants a man who isn’t afraid of commitment? Is this a book, or a blog called Ice Cream Castles in the Air: One Single Gal Hopes for Prince Charming?