Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? (And Other Concerns)

by Mindy Kaling

I’m only marginally qualified to be giving advice at all.

I don’t think it should be socially acceptable for people to say they are “bad with names.” No one is bad with names. That is not a real thing. Not knowing people’s names isn’t a neurological condition; it’s a choice. You choose not to make learning people’s names a priority.

There Has Ceased to Be a Difference Between My Awake Clothes and My Asleep Clothes

was worried I would be the subject of a reverse kind of book: a pathetic tale of a girl with a great education who frittered it away watching syndicated Law & Order episodes on a sofa in Brooklyn.

Not getting Lasik at this point is like being that girl in 2006 who didn’t have a cell phone.

If I can give one bit of advice to any drama major, high school theater kid, or inmate who is reading this in a prison library with dreams of being cast in the prison play, it’s this: write your own part.

I’m trying to tell you that I’m Picasso.

I quickly said something weird like “Bless you, child,” excused myself, and walked briskly away.