Three Blind Dates (Dating by Numbers, #1)

by Meghan Quinn

You can NEVER trust a man with three nipples. Write that down, ladies: three nipples is a no-go, even if they are fun to touch.

Have you ever seen You’ve Got Mail, the best romantic comedy ever produced? If you haven’t, stop what you’re doing and go watch it now. I’m not kidding, go watch it.

“Why do men who play with balls make you nervous every time?”

“I’m not going to lie, your dating life is turning me on, and I don’t know if I should be worried,”

“Daddy isn’t a good example for anything. In fact, he’s been grounded ever since we’ve been married. So unless you want to be grounded for life, I suggest you take cues from me, your mother, rather than your immature father.”

Sighing heavily, he pulls away and tips my chin up. “If you don’t find Prince Charming right away, message me, okay?”

“Would you be insulted if I said I’m kind of surprised by you tonight?” “Depends why you’re surprised? If it’s because you thought my hands would be much bigger outside of my hockey gloves, we’re going to have a problem.”

“I told him you’re eating your feelings but he still wants to talk to you.” “Don’t . . .” Alex pauses. “Christ, don’t tell people that.” “I’m not gonna lie, Daddy. Can I have a donut?”

“Ouch, cramps. Oweee, being a lady sucks. Fuck you, moon!” I shake my fist to the sky. Dylan’s brows cinch together in confusion. “What does the moon have anything to do with your period, which I know you’re not on because we get them at the same time, and we had our period two weeks ago.”

So hard. So forceful. So freaking good.

“There, there. If you want, Chad has a few accountant buddies who rock the numbers well, know Excel formulas by heart, and have a steady collection of calculators, something rather riveting to see in person. The evolution of the little counting machines is fascinating.

Are you . . . You’ve Got Mail-ing me?

A Bloody Mary? That’s what you want to toss at me? A chunky, peppery, hot-saucy Bloody Mary? Why on earth is that the drink you would choose when trying to woo me? Believe it or not, I’m not looking for a celery stick to nail me between the eyes.

“If he’s captured you, tied you up, and is asking for ransom, then that’s the only reason I won’t be mad at you for calling when I’m reading my stories.”

“If I said I wasn’t okay with it?” “Then I would tell you to suck it up. Whenever Turk is on the show, we have amazing ratings.” Exasperated, I say, “Then why even ask?” He shrugs. “Not sure. Maybe to get on your nerves.”

“Long story.” I shake my head. “But the man I want in my life just walked out that door and if I don’t go after him, I’ll lose my chance at being with him.” A small smile plays over Beck’s lips. “Then what are you waiting for, Sassy? Go get him.”