Many people took interpersonal communication courses where they learned Active listening techniques, based on Carl Rogers' work. Active listening consists of paraphrasing what the other person said, in your own words, in order to show them what you understood. We can now appreciate that if Simone says that she wants "a challenge" and I play back to her, "so you want something challenging," it does not create exactly the same experience for her. When I paraphrase into my own words, it has more to do with my reality than your reality, (and nothing whatever to do with Reality with a capital R).
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