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June 23 - July 13, 2019
If we observe and listen carefully to how a person behaves and communicates linguistically, we can glean an understanding of how, neurologically, a person puts his or her experience together to be excellent, mediocre, or awful at the things he or she does. Hence, this field is called Neuro-linguistic Programming.
Deletion
Distortion
Two examples of distortion are hallucination and creativity. They are both similar in that the external information is changed to something else. That is what the process of distortion is all about.
Generalization
Generalization is where you take a few examples and then create a general principle.
People have a certain number of experiences of a similar type and then make a rule or develop a belief.
You pay attention to how people answer, instead of what they say. In this way, after asking a few simple questions, you can determine what will trigger and maintain someone's motivation and how they internally process information.
Motivation Traits, and they are sometimes also called Motivation Patterns or Triggers. These are the Patterns that indicate what a person needs to get and stay motivated in a given Context, or conversely what will demotivate someone.
Working Traits, also known as Productivity Patterns. These categories describe the internal mental processing that a person uses in a specific situation. For example, we can determine if a person prefers an overview or sequential details, the environments in which they are most productive, whether a person attends to people or tasks, how they respond to stress, and the mechanics that lead them to become convinced about something.
By deleting, distorting and generalizing, we inhabit our perceptions and interpretations of Reality.
People transform their actual experience, their opinions, and so on, in ways that correspond to their own particular Deletions, Distortions, and Generalizations.
To help you identify when someone is talking about or has switched Contexts, listen for: When? Where? With whom? and a verb.
Other questions to elicit Criteria: What do you want in . . . (a job, a home, a spouse, etc.)? What's important to you? What counts? What has to be there? What would you like to have, be or do? What would have to happen in this project to meet all your needs?
People with a Toward pattern in a given Context are focused on their goal. They think in terms of what they want, goals to be achieved. They are motivated to have, get, achieve, attain, and so on. Because of their concentration on the end goals to be accomplished, they tend to be good at managing priorities. Moreover, they are excited and energized by achieving their outcomes and getting what they want. They may have trouble either noticing what should be avoided, or identifying problems. At the extreme, they can be perceived as naive by others because they do not take potential obstacles into
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The reason we ask the Motivation Direction questions several times is to get a more accurate sense of where the person puts their energy: toward goals or away from problems.
Toward attain; obtain; have; get; include; achieve; enable you to; benefits; advantages; here's what you would accomplish Away From won't have to; solve; prevent; avoid; fix; prevent; not have to deal with; get rid of; it's not perfect; let's find out what's wrong; there'll be no problems
People with a Toward preference need to ask themselves: Are my plans going to work? What else do I need to predict? What haven't I thought of yet that may go wrong? They may need the services of a devil's advocate in order to make sure they are being realistic.
If left to charge on to their goals, Toward employees (particularly when they also have a Proactive pattern), may get some nasty surprises later, due to inattention to potential hurdles or unforeseen negative consequences.
Research confirms the power of inviting the other person to decide.[13] A Meta-Analysis of 42 studies concludes that when told "but you are free" to refuse a request, compliance rates increased in most contexts regardless of the type of request. The effect diminished however if the decision to agree or not was not immediate. Lesson learned! If you want someone to do something now, let them know: "but you are free to refuse".
If any of the above are stated or implied, it does not pass the Macho Test! You may wish to rephrase as follows: As you probably know....(then state the thing you suspect they do not know) Use the language of suggestion: You may wish to consider... I understand that other organizations have had this issue and what some of them have done is... How have you solved this problem? (implies they have already solved all the problems) With your experience and knowledge in this area.... Your role is.... My role is... (establishing different yet equal roles)
When we are coaching people, we often try to help them have more choice about what they do. If your client needs a Procedure and you give them too many choices, you may inadvertently put them into sensory overload. Not deprivation, overload. Too much choice. A step by step process is more helpful for them.
Options coaching clients love to explore the alternatives but may be hesitant to commit to a course of action. One way to motivate them to do this is, to remind them of their Criteria and demonstrate that choosing and following through enables them to have all these Criteria. (Criteria as Options) "Once you choose an alternative and put it into place, you'll have many more possibilities to spend time with your family, or explore new hobbies etc." (Options and Toward) "Once you choose an alternative and put it into place, you won't have to worry about all the things that prevent you from
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People with a Difference Pattern love change; they thrive on it and want it to be constant and major. They will resist static or stable situations. They need drastic change about every one to two years, and if they do not get it, they may leave. They like change to be revolutionary, dramatically different.
Teaching in the public school system (state schools in the UK) tends to attract those who prefer Sameness in their work. They spend about 12 years in the school system, then go to university (another kind of school) and then back into the school system. There are exceptions to this though, one reason why it can be challenging to introduce changes to the curriculum, testing procedures, teacher evaluation procedures, etc.
I have noticed that those responsible for introducing or implementing change in organizations frequently have a high personal need for change. They are often mismatched with their environment, and so, do not speak the same language as the people they wish to influence.
Sameness and Procedures language and implementation can really help de-stress a workforce that is overwhelmed.
They concentrate on the forest; having to deal with the trees for long periods of time irritates them.
Influencing Language Generally speaking, it is important to match a person's Pattern in exactly the way they talk to you when in conversation. Specific exactly; precisely; specifically; details; use sequences and lots of qualifiers General the big picture; the main idea; essentially; the important thing is; in general; concepts
Influencing Language You can rouse and motivate people in an extraordinary way by simply being there and making rational sense of it all. Feeling get them excited about something and focus on the emotion, using words such as: intense; exciting; mind-boggling; extraordinary; this is fantastic; amazing, etc. Choice speak in terms that indicate you can go in and out of an emotional state (i.e., "You can get excited about this, and then realize that it makes good sense too."). Thinking present the logical facts: the cold reality; hard facts; clear thinking; statistics
To get people to go somewhere with you, you need to meet them where they are and not just pretend they are already where you want them to be. Go to their bus stop, and from their bus stop, invite them to let the bus take them where you want them to be.
Why your topic is important to your audience. (Options, Away From and/or Toward) What is the topic/content (Thing) How - the steps (Procedures) Where Else is your topic useful to people (Options)
When you are writing something, preparing a presentation and you want to make sure to be listened to and taken seriously without the other people feeling threatened, first prepare your draft. Then, ask yourself if you have implied or stated the following: There is something they don't already know, I am telling them what to do, They have a problem and I have the solution, They are not perfect in some way, and/or I am better than they are in some way. If any of the above are stated or implied, it does not pass the Macho Test! You may wish to rephrase as follows: As you probably know.... (then
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Inertia can be a powerful force and people get used to having problems or being unhappy, appearing to have little appetite or energy for heavy lifting to get out of a negative situation.
"Have you ever noticed that when some people get convinced of something; it can be very difficult to get them to consider something else? (Pause, wait for your client to reflect and acknowledge the statement.) And have you ever noticed that when you begin to believe there is a possibility or a hope, it is easier to find a solution? And when you don't know what you want, you rarely get it?"
For a client in Internal mode, establishing your credibility is more important than rapport.
"I will be presenting some information for you to consider in your work. I invite you to compare it to your own experience and decide what you think."
"You know your working environment better than I do. We will have the opportunity to adapt these ideas to your milieu. I'm sure you'll notice which parts are appropriate and which aren't."
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